Clever, but stupid spam.

I was going through the contents of my spam comments (those that were automatically filtered) in order to see if there were any comments that were not spam, when I found the following lengthy, but hilarious message:

(Scroll down to read the rest of my post…) 

“Statistics compass shown that instances of teen drug addiction escape in continued chains from parents to children. This is why like now is the day to either cleft the chain of teen drug addiction or mark it from forming. No proportions of dense work, money, renunciation is payment another than breaking a chain of substance abuse or preventing one from forming.

“For some, the vicious cycle of teen drug abuse begins at familiar when they are influenced by the addictive behaviors their parents exhibit. For example, children of alcoholics (COAs) are a party of individuals who suffer the plight of their parents’ alcoholism.

“As a teenager, the likelihood of exposing to drugs and alcohol is genuine high, and there is a congenial chance that you testament effort drugs and alcohol.

“Much though you impart yourself that you will lone [url=]buy tramadol[/url] slap drugs once, you engage in it one aggrandized time, and then one deeper future after that, and before you discriminate it you are developing a drug problem. One of the consequences of drug and alcohol abuse is addiction. Most teens don’t envisage that they will mature addicted, and simply benefit drug and alcohol to own a bad time.

“However, the deed of addiction to drugs and alcohol can conclusion in some appealing undesirable consequences, such as loss of friendships, health problems, behavioral problems, alienation of family, and a loss of care in sports, academics, hobbies, etc. Substance abuse and addiction can emphatically modify behavior, and a latest preoccupation with drugs can assemblage absent activities that were formerly important, adore sports or academics.

“End this is a discreet and non-invasive way. Always enshrine that teenagers can be fully protective of their privacy. Instead of asking your babe about his or her friends, launch a barbeque organization and interrogate your baby to invite some of his or her friends.

“Inviting your kid”s friends over to the apartment is the ace conduct to shop for to apprehend them better. You may further embolden the kids to hang environing the co-op every instantly and then so that you can inspect them without truly appearing as well nosy or something. Duration busy in some worthwhile activities can cure grip your girl elsewhere from drug addiction.

“more on

Okay, that’s it.  NOW — you might be asking why did I reproduce this crap in my own blog entry in the first place.  Well, I did change the two links that would have taken you to the spammer’s site — I replaced the drug name with a description of the drug in the link in the fourth paragraph, and I replaced the text in the URL above with another descriptive, but bogus address.  I certainly wasn’t going to send any business their way.  But the rest of the comment is unretouched.

Many of these spam comments, and the text of the email spam we all know and love, are written by someone overseas that does not speak English.  They use translator programs, which would account for the unusual vocabulary and convoluted syntax.  For example, the last two paragraphs are about how to spy on your kids to protect them from drug abuse.  I love this one:  “launch a barbeque organization and interrogate your baby to invite some of his or her friends.”  Interrogate means to ask and your baby means your child, of course.  But how did they come up with launch a barbeque organization?  Too funny!

What’s clever about this message is the way the link is buried in the text, and also how the text seems to be aimed at concerned parents (who might have been Googling teenage drug addiction for help and resources), which gives it a sort of legitimacy, but it is really for the drug addicts themselves who are looking to buy!  Everybody else would probably just ignore it because it sounds so stupid.  At least I’m hoping they would ignore it.

At work, every day I get at least one of those you’ve-inherited-six-million-bucks-from-a-stranger-in-Liberia scams in my email box.  They are so persistent, it makes me wonder if there are enough stupid people who actually fall for the ploy to keep them in business.  I hope not.  They also use the same stupid grammar as the blog spammers.

Before you delete this stuff or mark it as spam, there is something you can do to help stop it.  Forward it to — this is an email address set up by the Federal Trade Commission (there is no website at, it’s just for email) to collect evidence to use in prosecuting the money-launderers and Internet criminals that annoy us to death.  At the very least, the FTC can notify the email and IP server the spammers are using so they can be shut down for violating the server’s terms-of-service.  It’s a small drop in a very big bucket, but it’s a start.  Maybe some day, by cooperating, we’ll be able to outwit those stupid, but oh-so-clever online crooks.


One response to “Clever, but stupid spam.

  1. I really am glad that I paid attention in my english classes, otherwise I would be sucker-punched into believing some of this BS and ultimately end up both broke and embarassed.

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